Have you had those days when everything seems to be going wrong? It’s like having the Midas touch in reverse—instead of things turning to gold, you touch them and they turn to lead. Such experiences not only leave us feeling upset and frustrated, they also make us start reflecting: Why is this happening? What am I doing wrong? Who could be doing this to me? And so on. The process is a little like what we as a nation are now going through as so many things are going wrong in our national life—from dot.com crashes to the continuing economic doldrums to the increasing instability on the international scene. Apart from the various military and security measures our country is taking recent events have triggered a time of deep national reflection.
What do you do when a series of reverses happens at work or in your life generally—or both? For instance, Sharon, a business consultant, had a series of problems on a day that started out bad and then got much worse. It started with an office computer system upgrade that took longer than expected followed by a call from a client who said his computer crashed, so he needed her to send the report again right away. But she needed to get her own computer working again before she could do that. Unfortunately, after waiting all day to use the computer, it still wasn’t done and she had to tell the computer tech to come in the next day as well as call her client to explain the delay.
More problems developed when she rushed to the first day of her evening business class. Unfortunately, since she left later than planned, she encountered an accident on the bridge, which delayed her for about 20 minutes. She had to drive around the campus parking lot for several minutes to find one of the few remaining spots. Finally, she arrived at her first class late and famished, since she was in such a rush that she had skipped dinner.
Then, even more problems. When she returned from the break with some snacks and moved her chair, so she could hear the professor, her orange juice bottle fell, sending juice all over the floor. Of course this made her late joining the breakout groups for a teamwork exercise, as she stopped to mop up the floor. A few hours later, when she got back to her car, she discovered she had left the lights on in her rush to class, so the car wouldn’t start. When she went to the office of the campus police for help, the officer at the desk said he couldn’t leave the office to jump start her car since he was the only one on duty, and so he sent her to the auto body shop on campus. Though the mechanic gave her jumper cables with a battery box to start the car and instructions on what to do, once she started it, she was so tired and it was now so late and dark that she drove around the campus to return the cables, rather than walking back to the shop and then back to her car. Unfortunately, as she tried to find her way off campus by driving along the wide pedestrian walkways on the campus and on to the street, another campus cop saw her and stopped her, though he ultimately took pity on her, after she described her terrible day. So after a stern lecture about driving across the campus plaza, he sent her on her way. Yes, it was that kind of day, and everything had gone so wrong that it made Sharon wonder why. What had she possibly done that might have led to such havoc? Was there anything she should have done differently? Why did it all happen? Was there anything she could or should do now?
What Should Sharon Do?
Here are some possibilities. In Sharon’s place, what would you do and why? What do you think the outcomes of these different options would be?
- Take some time to meditate to relax and get more centered, so you do everything you are already doing—but only better and with less stress.
- Take a short weekend vacation to feel renewed and recharged— then the problem should go away.
- Take some time to reflect on what went wrong and why, so you can correct it.
- Turn to others for more help, so you can turn over some of your extra responsibilities to them.
- Examine what’s most important to you, so you can do less, but more effectively, since you will have more time and energy.
- Other?
Sharon’s experience led her to spend some time thinking about what she had been doing, and wondering what she should change. As a result of this self-examination, she came to realize that she was overcommitted. She was doing too much, so she was continually rushing to get from one assignment to another, with the result that the slightest glitch could throw off her whole system, as it had that day. Thus, a good first step was dropping her business class. Then, she reflected on everything she was doing, so she could prioritize what was most important and do the first things first. It was like she used the day of disasters as a wakeup call and then started to pay attention to what she needed to do now.
What if everything seems suddenly to go wrong for you? How do you break the cycle and stop the process? Or how can you learn from what happened for the future?
A good first step is to take some quiet time to reflect on what has happened to learn why and consider what you might learn from the experience. When you do reflect, think back to when the chain of negative events started and examine what might have triggered them, much as Sharon looked back and realized she was doing too much, which made it difficult for her to complete everything, made her late, and set the other events in motion.
Then, once you have identified the causes or triggering event, you can take steps to counteract that cause. For example, if you are doing too much, do less. If you have a job or boss that is putting you under too much pressure, think about how you might change the present situation to reduce the pressure. Or perhaps consider if you need to do something so you won’t react this way in the future, such as by taking more quiet time to relax each day or signing up for a yoga or karate class to experience a renewed sense of relief. Still another possibility might be turning to others you feel you can trust for help, such as asking for more assistance on a project or adding someone else with more expertise to a team.
In short, when things go wrong, take time to reflect on what has happened and why. Then, think about ways to correct the problem and learn from the experience, so you move on, better prepared for the future.
Today’s Take-Aways:
- Is everything suddenly going wrong? Ask yourself why.
- When everything starts going wrong, start thinking about what you can do to make it go right.
- Look on a series of bad experiences as a time to reflect andmake changes, based on your insights about what these experiences are telling you.