Sometimes people who think they are great communicators aren’t, but that’s not something they want to hear. They think they are clear and concise. When someone else doesn’t understand what they said or makes a mistake following their instructions—well, it’s because the other person should have understood or he got it wrong. Their problem is like that of the person who doesn’t know and doesn’t know he doesn’t know. As one researcher reported in a study, the people who were clueless were clueless they were clueless. That’s why they were poorly informed—they were unaware they didn’t have the knowledge and acted as if they did.
Jimmy discovered this problem first-hand, when he was assigned to work on a series of research projects with a senior co-worker, Dan, who was designated as the team leader. Dan gave Jimmy some general instructions for writing up his research findings, telling him to "echo back" what he found in other research reports. "Just mirror it back," Dan explained, when Jimmy asked him to clarify what he meant.
After Jimmy wrote up the first page of his report, he asked Dan if he wanted to review it, but Dan told him: "Just send me the whole project when you’re done." However, when Jimmy did as instructed, Dan complained Jimmy had written too much, since by echoing back, he had just meant Jimmy should summarize and paraphrase. "So now," Dan said accusingly, "the project is going to be much more expensive than projected." When Jimmy protested that Dan had turned him down when he offered to send his first page for review, Dan looked at him blankly. "What do you mean? You didn’t ask me that." Jimmy was surprised, wondering if Dan had forgotten what he had said.
After that, Jimmy experienced further communication breakdowns, and he noticed problems that Dan had with other people, too. One time Dan assigned him to do some library research, and after Jimmy reported spending three hours on the project, Dan told him: "Keep going and keep me posted on the progress." So Jimmy did, submitting a few pages as a report every few days. At the end of one conversation, he commented that he had spent about eight hours to date. But when Jimmy turned in his last report which formally listed his hours, Dan blew a fuse. "How did this suddenly get up to 24 hours?" Dan yelled. "You put in too many hours and didn’t tell me." Though Jimmy protested he had told Dan, Dan was equally firm: "No you didn’t. I would certainly remember that."
Another communication breakdown occurred when Dan told Jimmy to present the research findings in a brochure with a certain design. But when Jimmy did so, Dan objected to the design, saying: "It’s not professional enough. Do it again." So Jimmy did, working overtime to complete the task.
Then Jimmy began to notice that other members of the team were having similar experiences—misunderstandings about what to do, claims that their work wasn’t right, requests from Dan to redo work even though they had spend the weekend doing it. Yet Dan was in charge. So Jimmy tried to do his best without saying anything, though he felt a growing resentment that Dan repeatedly blamed him for things that weren’t his fault, and whenever he tried to point out the communication problems to Dan, Dan charged him with not listening, understanding, or remembering. Thus, after awhile, hoping to keep his job, Jimmy stopped protesting and sucked in his feelings, not wanting to rock the boat.
What Should Jimmy Do?
Here are some possibilities. In Jimmy’s place, what would you do and why? What do you think the outcomes of these different options would be?
- Ask for further step-by-step clarification of what Dan, the team leader, wants.
- Write up a memo of your understanding of what to do after each meeting or telephone conversation, and send it to Dan.
- Ask Dan to send you a written memo with instructions before you do the work, and explain you want this so you’ll clearly know what Dan wants.
- Talk to others who have similarly gotten unclear communications and approach Dan as a group to discuss the problem.
- Write up a memo about what you have done each day and send it to Dan. Even if he doesn’t read it, you could still use it to defend yourself to higher-ups in the company, if he tries to fire you or if you end up in court.
- Other?
What should you do in a situation like that, where you find yourself working with and getting directions from a person who thinks he or she is a good communicator, but isn’t? Apart from walking away from the situation by quitting the job or the client, a good strategy is to press for clear communications. For example, send a memo or e-mail writing up your understanding of what you are supposed to do. If you think a job or project description is too vague or could have more than one meaning, feed back what you understand you are doing in different and more precise words. Try breaking down a broad description of a job or task into the particular steps you plan to do, and state what your plans are to see if they are correct. Importantly, too, seek feedback when you start on a project, even if the other person says that it’s not necessary. For instance, say something like: "I realize you don’t think it’s necessary to see the project until I’m finished. But I can do better job for you if you let me know if I’m doing the right thing now." Then, hope the other person will agree to take a look. Alternatively, diplomatically seek out another source of the information and directions. You may not be able to fix all the communication problems with a supervisor or client who doesn’t want to face his or her own problems in communicating. But you’ll at least reduce the number of communication breakdowns and find fewer communication potholes on a sometimes rocky communications road. Plus you’ll be covered by written documents showing your understanding of what to do if you get called on the carpet and have to defend yourself to others later on.
Today’s Take-Aways:
- People who think they are good communicators may not get the message when you try to tell them they are not.
- To improve communications with a poor communicator who’sclueless, put up more signs with clearer directions to guide the way.
- Slow down and stop for feedback to help light your way and find the right road.
- Put your understanding of your instructions in writing in an e-mail or memo so you show what you know—or don’t, and invite the other person to tell you if anything isn’t right. Then, it’s clear whose wrong when things don’t turn out right.